Latest and greatest in contraception

The other day, we were doing a community workshop on women's empowerment. It was the family planning day, so we were talking about what kinds of modern birth control methods were available in their community. Things were going pretty much as expected when one woman spoke up. She started listing some of the usual methods "pills, implants... and of course, one of the most effective methods is a husband's death." Yep, I'm pretty sure that'll do it. Pretty much 100% effective. I can just see the campaign now. Latest and greatest in birth control: death. Pretty novel. 

More American than TV

Inevitably, when I tell people that I don't have a TV, they look at me like I've just told them that I killed my own mother. The next sure question is, "What do you do with all your free time?" That question always gets me. I look at them as if they are equally crazy and ask, "What free time?" Seriously, I have no idea how people have time to watch TV.

"Leave 'Em Wanting More"

This week, my mom gave Mikale a sweet, unassuming gift of cherry lip balm. Little did she know the package contained scandalous kissing tips. With tips like these, we're all going to become brazen hussies:

"Pull back and look down, then look into his eyes. If he liked the kiss you'll most likely kiss again. Look at his lips, he will get the signal you want more!"

And, a thought in parting from the Ladies Home Journal (1948): "It takes a lot of experience for a girl to kiss like a beginner."

Thanks, mom!

Plants after my heart

So, I don't own a home. Nor do I have any plans to own one in the near future. But that doesn't stop me from daydreaming about the landscape I will have. There are 3 plants that absolutely must be a part of my home: a Mimosa tree, a Teacup Magnolia tree and Forsythia. And, while I'm at it, I might as well include that my house needs to be within a 10 minute walking distance from a lake. Oh, and I'll be needing a few fruit trees.

A little something

Do you ever feel like something is lacking in your life? Like something is missing - that you're searching for some unknown thing that will make you whole? (Sounds like the beginning of a convert's testimony.) I've been experiencing this feeling the past week. I feel like I'm waiting for something, needing something. I feel dissatisfied, discontent, like I want to get away. Yet at the same time I feel happy overall. It's like something is askew or an intense feeling of hidden frustration. With something. What is that something?

Another suitor for the Civic

We'd hoped it wouldn't come to this, but it is futile to deny what is so blatantly true. I'll just say it, then: each of us in the Belvedere Mansion grows increasingly jealous by the day. The object of our jealousy is no less than Claire's 1996 black, radio-less, tail-pipe-dragging, battery-less, air-condition-free Honda Civic. Yes, it's a sad state to be in (for us, not the car).

Civic has sat in our driveway for months, neglected, unwanted, decomposing before our eyes. Yet in a Mahana-like turn of events, suddenly Civic has become desperately wanted, even coveted. Without even the advantage of Craig's list marketing, Civic has managed to muster up several suitors in just 2 days. Men have been checkin her out something fierce. She has experienced aggressive courting, men fighting over her, offers of love affairs, and ever increasing monetary promises.

Today we came home to a note of last resort:
"I would like to buy your (love) but you talked to another guy about it [unfaithful!]. I will give you *$800* cash for your (love) [money talks] and I won't even talk to the other man about it [intrigues pique interest]. It will just be between you and me [baby, oh baby]. Call me as soon as you can [sold!]. I have cash. Tonight!"

Oh, to have the suitors of a run-down Civic.

Dis-persuasion

You would think that on an external marketing site for a national park, the objective would be to draw in visitors, right? Usually yes. But on some occasions, the national parks sabotage themselves by writing things like this:

During the pony swim, approx. 40,000 visitors wait along what many say is an "extremely over crowded shoreline". Large numbers of people wait for many long hours in an area far from the swim where the restrooms are located. There are no restrooms close to the swim since it is a tidal marsh.
People say that the best way for you to experience the wild ponies of Assateague Island is to just: "Go any other time during the season. That's when you can see them best. You can see the herds of wild ponies where they live along the island on the boat nature tour that runs from May 16th thru Oct 11th"... If you are still interested in seeing the Annual Pony Swim, there is also a special charter to get a much closer view of the Chincoteague wild pony swim (limited seats).

Um, what? Which competitor hacked into their system?