Tuesday, April 27, 2010

I need you to need me

I suppose that every guy has his weakness - that one thing that will make him fall madly, deeply in like with a girl. But, as I've been told ad infintum, the one ring that rules them all is being needed by a girl. A guy must feel that he is needed. Fair enough, I say. It makes perfect sense. But what I grapple with is chasing down that elusive, slim line demarcating the boundary between the overly dependent and overly independent.

We're told (and I strongly believe, I might add) that as women we should not sit around and wait for our Prince Charming to come along. We should be active, pursue our dreams, and find things that make us happy. We should act and not wait to be acted upon. In essence, we should live our lives to the fullest, seeking and finding joy in whatever stage we find ourselves.

But, as we do these things, we become increasingly independent. In fact, we acquire a necessary, learned independence. It is not necessarily that we want to do those things alone, but we must. We have to learn how to provide for ourselves and become self-sufficient. In that light, it was particularly striking to hear a man talk about this woman he was pursuing. He had doubts that she would ever be interested in him because he said, "Look at her. She's beautiful, educated, successful, well traveled, talented, and capable of doing anything she needs in her life. Where do I fit here? Why would she need me?" To this man, there was no chink in her armor. He couldn't see any entry point into her life because she was so self-sufficient. She appeared to fill any function he thought he might provide. She did not need protection, provisions, or fun. He was not needed - at least that is how he perceived it.

I think that often times women come off that way without intending to. We have to be independent, and most of us want to enjoy ourselves, wherever we are in life. So how do we provide for ourselves and pursue our dreams as we have to and want to, while still showing guys they are needed? I'm not talking about stroking pride or fostering inequitable relations between men and women. I think feeling needed is something essential for both women and men in a relationship. But how is that done? Where is that balance?

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

When "if-then" statements fail

This is not an Onion article. I swear, this is a real news story: "Iranian cleric blames quakes on promiscuous women"
Highlights from the senior cleric include:
  • "Promiscuous women are responsible for earthquakes."
  • "Many women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray and spread adultery in society which increases earthquakes."
  • "What can we do to avoid being buried under the rubble? There is no other solution but to take refuge in religion and to adapt our lives to Islam's moral codes."


Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Oh, what a difference a word can make

As I was reading through some proposals at work, a couple things made me laugh. Sometimes a few little letters can change so much.

"Started several not profitable companies for local citizens..."

On a person's CV:
"Arabic: Fluent
English: Unacceptable"

*Note: the "unacceptable English" proposal was not tied to the first quote, although maybe it should be...