Sunday, March 30, 2008

Glow, fat heads, and NYC

There is this little Italian trattoria by my work that I am obsessed with. I dream of the fresca sandwich nightly. So, when my sister, Lauren, flew into town, I decided to take her there. The owner found out that we were Mormon (as they always do somehow). He immediately juxtaposed these three sentences, "I love Mormons! They have such great complexions. They're like a super race." He quite obviously was referring to the Mormon "glow," but being ignorant of semantics, chose to call it complexion.

All aglow, Lauren and I headed off to NYC (which has been Lauren's dream for oh, about all 17 years of her life). She died in SLC and arose in the fashion heaven of NYC. I think her highlight was H&M shopping, but she claims it was Central Park.

On Saturday, we went to the kite flying festival on the Mall. My roommate, Claire, poured her whole soul into creating a phenomenal tetrahedral four-cell kite, including hand sewing and collapsable joints. Tragedy struck, however, when she was trying to get the kite in the air. As she was running, the kite began to catch air and rose precisely to children's head-level. As it so happened, a fat-headed child stood aimlessly near the Washington Monument and managed to get his noggin stuck inside the kite, unbeknownst to Claire, who continued to run despite the slight drag she experienced. Continual tugging on Claire's part caused the fat-headed child to fall, breaking the kite in several places. We had the likes of the President of the Kite Association come to play kite-doctor, but to no avail. The kite would not fly. This is why we a. should not let small children out of the house, and b. need to urgently address the obesity epidemic in this country. Claire's spirits did seem a bit cheered when she saw the huge Mao kite in the air. But, then again, whose spirits aren't lifted with a little Mao?


David Stoker said...

Based on your angle of approach towards Mao I was about 100 feet in front of you guys. I personally was quite happy to see him crumble and crash, Mao was one bad cruel dude.

Brian and chelsea said...

Don't you remember anything from our MPH training? Children are not FAT, nor OBESE. They are simply OVERWEIGHT.
Out of respect for the dignity of the child, please edit your post to read "an overweight-headed child stood aimlessly near..."

mel said...

ha!!! We are a superior race, I love that. I am glad you had fun in NYC and gutted I didn't get to go!!! Next time, next time. Oh and the kite festival... LETS GO FLY A KITE!

Jenny said...

Maybe you do have great complexions and we do have the glow, a double compliment. I would take it. Ok, that kite story is so funny, what was the parents doing? Kudos to your roommate for building her own kite, makes me feel totally inferior.

Anderson's said...

How fun to have Lauren come visit. Looks like you guys had a good time!

Jecca Lee Ivie Johnson said...

What a swell life you lead, Miss Heather Smeather! I got to see my sister this week, too! We went to the mall, though, not NYC. We're pretty boring! Your hair is looking so dapper, by the way! I saw a girl at the grocery store the other day that had hair color almost as pretty as yours and it made me think of you. And, last but not least, there's nothing funnier than fat kids! I've got one and I know how delightful they can be! Okay, she's not fat, just big-boned but I think I will probably have thrown my back out packing her by the time she's 3. See ya babe!