Friday, November 9, 2007

Reasons a plenty

The reasons for my finally joining the world of blogdom are twofold: First, I had to declare to the world with all my humbled might that I finally understand. This understanding is so revelatory that I cannot simply limit it to my email lists – it must be widely dispersed. The Internet gods have finally revealed to me what I lack. I now understand why I have not been able to get a job all these months. It is quite a simple thing; I’m not sure why I did not realize it before. But, as with most things in life, it takes a vastly important institution to reveal truths. So it was that I discovered my life failings on Johns Hopkins’ website. As I was perusing the job qualifications for an unnamed job, it struck me: my days of internships, master’s, and work would prove futile; as I was whiling away at those supposedly vital tasks, I fell behind on what mattered the most. And, (crestfallen) Johns Hopkins helped me to realize that it is those simple skills that employers really are after. Forget research, management, and behavior change skills; forget even what you may currently define as “basic skills” such as typing, filing, and copying. No, we are talking even more basic than that: these days it’s all about sitting, standing, reaching, feeling, and stooping. And I quote: “While performing the duties of this Job [note the capital J], the employee is regularly required to sit and talk or hear. The employee is frequently required to use hands to finger, handle, or feel. The employee is occasionally required to stand; walk; reach with hands and arms and stoop, kneel, or crouch. Specific vision abilities required by this job include close vision.” I rest my case.

Secondly, the demographics of bloggers are becoming disconcerting. It seems that blogs are increasingly the medium of choice for married people to display their new and ever-so-cute children. In fact, the trend seems to be such that nobody these days starts a blog until they have some children to show off. Now, I’m not saying that people should not show off their children - I quite love seeing them; however, I think we need a little more balance in this world of blogging. Am I right?

7 comments:

Grant said...

So, what you're saying is... you're having a kid???

ZLB said...

I fully support this. I too blog about non-kid things. and am excited to keep up on your life. yeah!

Dianne said...

I fully support the tipping of the blogging scales!!

brian and chelsea said...

Heather, not only can you stoop, feel, and listen right up there with the pros - you are an incredibly entertaining and gifted writer. Ever considered bagging this whole PH plight and going into journalism? Honestly, you can out-write Dave Barry anyday.

Adrienne said...

the reason i don't keep a blog (can i say digital scrapbooking for the masses - my arch enemy). i also don't want child molesters knocking down my door trying to rape my kids and kidnap them. I'm glad you are keeping a blog on non-kiddy things. yeah and I've joined FB and although I'm hopelessly addicted I'm also considering de-activating my account.

Kimball said...

Reasons a plenty, or parsnips a plenty? With Brian and Chelsea, I too think you should start a career in journalism, you witty little wit! I miss you Heather. Maybe you should come home. Washington DC is for dorks anyway, at least thats what EVERYONE is saying around here. You've inspired me to consider starting a blog. I love you.

zane said...

you're right! welcome to blogging...now we can stay in touch! check us out at
www.zaneandlexi.blogspot.com
hope all is well
alexis