Saturday, February 20, 2010

Is it me... or is it you?

Ah, there you are emptiness. We two are such handy co-conspirators. What force is it that keeps us knocking heads? Big parties, you say? Oh, yes. That's it.

Is it me? Am I the only one who feels empty and deflated after big parties? In theory, these big parties seem like great inventions: see anybody who's anybody in one place. Brilliant. But, once you start getting into the actual details, well, it all falls apart. Talking about inane things with person after person? Not brilliant. Trying to hold the attention of a person so over-stimulated that they can't keep their eyes on you? Again, not brilliant. Screaming at people just to be heard? Not brilliant, I say. I feel my hours meaningless and stale. But maybe that's not the point. I don't think anybody ever sat down and thought, "Hmm, now here's something meaningful: big parties." I don't believe that everything we do has to be uber meaningful, but I do think that as humans we crave meaningful interactions with our fellow beings.We desire something beyond the superficial, something to give purpose a footing. We seek discovery, intimacy, even vulnerability. And big parties just don't do that. Yet we follow after our fallen god.

But perhaps I assume too much. Perhaps I am among the few disenchanted. Either way, I have to ask myself: Why do I do it? Why do I keep returning to my folly? Isn't there a better way? I don't want to be stuck with co-pilot emptiness, but I choose it. I don't know if I go out of obligation, or just because I do genuinely want to see my friends, and I believe it might be different (always room for a little hope, non?). But, something's gotta change. I've got to find a better way. Who's with me?


M. said...

That is why I prefer to make newspaper tables than go to big parties ;)

I revolted against these large gatherings awhile ago. I find the small gatherings i replaced them with much more meaningful!

Kelly said...

I say yes to parties...small, intimate ones. There's nothing better than sitting down around a fire pit or relaxing in the garden with simple snacks and 4 good friends.

Micah E. said...

Boo big parties.

I have a strategy that I use to diffuse the awkwardness at these types of events. I call it the Confidence Cup. Pick up one of the plastic red cups, normally reserved for alcohol or Red Bull, and fill it part way with your beverage of choice. Having the cup gives you the following options:

1. Drinking from it when there's an awkward pause in the conversation.

2. Discussing beverages when you run out of things to say.

3. Excusing yourself to get something more to drink when you are wanting out of the conversation.

Also, you'll have something to hold so that you don't have to worry about what to do with your hands.

Nothing better. Genius!

Adriana said...

the problem is you aren't using big parties for their intended purpose: dancing and letting go. meaningful discussion and personal connection is for the camp fire. Although.. fire side dance parties can be fun too.

Adam said...

Okay, Heather, you've read my mind again.

Kel said...

amen sista!

it's all about quality over quantity.

Smashie Smasherton said...

Heather, I am so with you. And thank you for confirming that I made the right choice with my Saturday night plans... :)

And Micah, I too have discovered the Confidence Cup method. It works great for awkward Munch-and-Mingles!