Thursday, February 5, 2009

Hopeless

So, on my way to the airport in Amman, the taxi driver and I were holding a pretty average conversation until he asked me if I was married. Told him "nope" simple as that. But questions like this die hard. The inevitable follow up question: "How old are you?" Now, if you're ever in this situation in Jordan, do NOT say 28; I don't care what kind of after life it brings you. I wasn't aware of this little piece of advice back then, however, so I responded, "28." Driver almost loses control of the road as he turns back to stare at me in disbelief and great concern. Literal first words from his mouth: "Oh, no! There's no hope!" Yeah, thanks for that. Is it not enough to get it from worried elderly ladies in your ward? Apparently not. He quite honestly expressed his deepest sorrows for about 10 minutes. I'm now acutely aware of my position in life. Let me break it down for you. If you find yourself to be 28 and not married, sorry - but apparently neither looks, wealth, talents nor stature can redeem the passage of time. These are your only marriage options:

1. You will never get married
2. You will have to marry a very old man
3. You will have to marry a very ugly man
4. You will have to marry a (gasp) divorced man

Or, some horrific combination of the above. So, for all you very old, ugly men out there: I'm available!

6 comments:

mel said...

lol. Oh dear, duly noted :)

Jecca Lee Ivie Johnson said...

Wow, I thought those kind of condolences only existed in the Mormon church! I wonder what he would have said to a single, old, ugly, divorced man.

micah e. said...

HA!

A while back I visited my parents' congregation and this woman that has known me basically my entire life came running up to me. She excitedly informed me:

"Micah, Micah! I was at a wedding yesterday and guess what?! The guy getting married was forty-five! Forty-five! You're going to be okay!"

UGH.

We should one day discuss the differential treatment of Mormon men and women as they progress into their late twenties. Sure, women have it hard, blah, blah, blah. But when you're a single guy at twenty-eight, everyone thinks you're gay—which is great if you ARE gay! But if not, it's just awkward.

Mark said...

Haha, liked this post. And the comments.

Joseph said...

So, Micah, is it awkward or great for you?

I wish I had so many great Jordanian stories.

Adriana said...

option 5. You will live and love a variety of men all through your life and never have to settle on 1!