Monday, June 23, 2008

Brain time share

My brain: a war zone. Multiple parties vying for attention. Mostly petty fighting. Enter stage right - two megaglomerates, who start developing the territory with no thoughts of subprime mortgage. Like drug lords, they crush the competition. The real warfare begins. Who will win (I ask)? But you may ask, who is fighting?
These developers have reached a deal: 60% of brain property devoted to work-related thoughts; 40% of brain property devoted to food. Isn't 40% a bit high, one may wonder? Fair enough, I say. But if you question the 40%, you apparently have no inkling as to how stressful my food situation is. Being part of a CSA is wondrous, but it introduces new challenges into life. Most of my spare moments (when I'm not working) are focused on what ever I shall do with all that kohlrabi kale swiss chard beets turnips scallions mint spinach bok choy cilantro cress. And not just what to do with it, but how to use it all before it goes bad. And how I can use my best persuasion skills to get my roommates to eat any of it. How can I possibly combine all those into one meal, plus that rotting banana in the corner? I tell you, I am surprised that the food constituency compromised at 40%.
So, if anybody would like me to be able to think about anything besides work and food, well, help a sister out. The following are ways you can help:
  • Coach me so that I don't feel so utterly stressed out when I waste even an ounce of food
  • Give me creative ideas for combining a whole lot of food that I've never cooked before
  • Send me recipes
  • Eat my food. Yes, please, eat my food.

7 comments:

mel said...

haa, i love you! My suggestions:
1) come to Falling Water with me. Frank Lloyd Wright will make you think of peeing over eating :)
2) Have a party, mmmh, swiss chard!
3) Make it into a smoothie... or... compost pile? :)

Brian and chelsea said...

what a coincidence...I am watching the news as I read your blog, when one of the "headlines" is that Americans are wasting 25% of the food produced here.
That equates to one pound of food, per person, per DAY.
Heinous.
If the rest of the world were like you, the world would be a better place.
I have no brilliant suggestions... other than the glorious freezer, which serves to preserve so many food items that would otherwise perish.

Brian and chelsea said...

OH - and in response to your request for coaching... a friend brought up an excellent point to me when I was loathing the reality of so much food going to waste that I realized during a short stint working in a food establishment: either you dont eat it, and it goes to waste, or you DO eat it, and it turns into waste.

Adrienne said...

And you have pounds more of food coming your way via the square foot garden(s) that you have planted. If you want to overnight anything to me be my guest. I'll gladly take any food I can get!

Jecca Lee Ivie Johnson said...

When I was growing up, my mom solved this problem by throwing everything into a pan, baking it with crackers, cheese, and ketchup on top and calling it a casserole. Believe me, you feel better about throwing away a nasty casserole than a fridge full of nearly-rotting produce. Or maybe you could get a dog. They'll eat anything and then you can feel good about yourself again. If that's the worst thing you've got going for you, then I'd say your pretty close to sainthood!

Heather Sanders said...

Melinda, a smoothie with kale and turnips? Great idea! I'll gift that to you... Chelsea, stop with your statistics, you're making me sick. Ade, I'll ship you some food. Jess, well - a casserole sounds like a great Mormon idea.

ashsan said...

from my brief romance with a liver cleanse (motto: bad idea),I can tell you that a kale smoothie is a distinct possibility. Just ask Zina to make you one, and she will include horseradish and mustard for no extra charge, and even attempt to force you to eat it even if you don't want to. Right, Zi? Anyway, other greens are absolutely not ruled out.

I have some recipes. Send me your ingredients. Unlike BYU, St. John's has a crazy vegan lunchlady who cooks the most bizarre-o health food imaginable, a lot of which looks suspiciously like an entire CSA shipment schlepped into one. Just sayin', I have ideas.